we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
