id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
