i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
