god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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