Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
