Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
