Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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