Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize