How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
