I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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