It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
