had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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