bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
