dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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