are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
is it fun? or sober?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
