I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
