S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
