haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
