im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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