Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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