Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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