ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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