I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
