so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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