Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
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I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
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It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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