We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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