Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Who died my cat blue again?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize