when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
