the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
