do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
