my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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