my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
