good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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