Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
