I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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