I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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