On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Enjoy the penises
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