Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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