Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Michael Bay diarrhea
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
