I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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