If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
