she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
