dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
