That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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