Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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