i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize