all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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