this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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