3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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