what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
