question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
