great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
