So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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