I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
