considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
