I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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