i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
