The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
