it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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